The Best Way to Handle Tantrums

If there's one thing that's sure to ruin your day, it's a temper tantrum. This has many causes, but one cause that every parent understands is when your child wants something and he doesn't get it.

Giving into what the child wants is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make. Some parents do this to stop the tantrum, which can be convenient especially in a public place. What most parents need to understand is that giving in to the child's tantrum would only have him use this as a way to manipulate people. The child would be led to think that it's okay to do this every time he wants something.

Below are some great tips on how to handle tantrums properly.

BE IN CONTROL

The ability to control yourself is one of the most important skills a parent needs to learn. This might be hard during a tantrum, but studies have shown that only negative things come out when a parent loses control. The parent may hit the child, scream at him or just give him what he wants. Doing these things will only teach your child that violence is okay, losing self control is acceptable and that he can manipulate his way by throwing tantrums.

Going into what I call the "statue-face" is one of the best pieces of advice I ever received. This is what I do whenever my child starts acting up. I keep a steady face, and I don't show him that I hear him screaming even when he's right in front of me. I just glue my eyes elsewhere and I even go to the kitchen or my bedroom to avoid being the object of his attention during the tantrum.

HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO CONTROL ANGER

You'd think it's impossible to teach kids how to control their self when they're angry, but this is can be done. In fact, some parents are very successful at this. A lot of parents are even successful when their kids are going through the terrible twos, which is quite a difficult stage.

Some parents think tantrums can be stopped through child punishment, but this is really not the case. Tantrums are normal for kids, and what we can do is to teach them to control it rather than punish them for expressing their anger.

Here's what every parent needs to do after the child throws a tantrum:

1) Start by making sure that the child understands what you're talking about. Start with "You were screaming and crying and kicking..."

2) Tell the child that throwing a tantrum is inappropriate, but always make sure to criticize the behavior and not the child ("Screaming and crying when you want something is inappropriate").

3) Explain that there is a right way to express anger without screaming and shouting (I don't like it when you scream and shout when you need something. Why don't you tell me when you're angry and I will listen to you. Is that a deal?).


------

Need more information on terrible- twos and child punishment? Visit TalkingToToddlers.com to get helpful information on these topics.